My Testimony of Faith
My Testimony of Faith
This is my testimony of faith that has brought me to my ever enduring faith to our heavenly Father, Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I just want to state, that at the time of this incident that I am about to tell you, I was not in a state of true faithfulness before or after my experience. But, as I look back at these things that have happened to me over the years, it is only now, that I realize what they all mean.
I once had an idea of faith, that I believe, many people have now, that stated in my own mind and my own way, that as long as I say that I believed in God, I was going to be OK , as I used to say then, or saved, as I say now.
Regardless of my obedience to the Lord, I felt that I could live my life any which way I chose to. While living in this manner of life style, I believe the Lord was always trying to get my attention, by tugs, which is what some of us call them, some small tugs and some large tugs, the one I am going to tell you about, I consider, a large tug, but at the time I wasn’t sure that it meant anything at all.
I had just finished my 3 year aerospace program at Canadore College, out of North Bay, Ontario and was now a commercial pilot, which had been my life -long dream since I was a child.
My daughter Alexandra was living with her mother in Ottawa at this time. Alex was about 2 years old when I decided one weekend to rent a small plane to visit her. The plane was a small Cessna 172, but was not an instrument flight plane (one equipped to fly in bad weather) so I had to be in visual conditions to make the trip. The weather was forecast fairly good to proceed, so I took off out of North Bay, Ontario at about 1:00 in the afternoon. Weather was sunny leaving North Bay, but once over Algonquin Park, it started to get dark and cloudy. As I continued on, it began to rain and became overcast. My visibility began to diminish, so I kept descending to keep my visibility. Slowly the cloud came down around me and my visibility was nil at some points. Every so often I could see the ground, and to my shock, I realized that I was only a mere 200 feet above the ground.
Checking my charts, my heart suddenly fell like a rock and the anxiety increased 10 fold, to my surprise, the charts revealed that there were 300-350 foot towers or obstructions all around me! And, even more shocking, I had descended into a valley with spot elevations close to about 500 above the ground! The fear began to set in. I could feel warmth in my body traveling from my feet to my head. Within seconds I felt the sweat from my fear soaking my shirt and my heart started to beat at an extreme accelerated rate.
I realized that I couldn’t climb because the temperature at my altitude was already 0 degrees, which meant that the freezing level was just above me and the icing danger was very apparent. I couldn’t descend because I was already too low with towers higher than my altitude all around me. After reluctantly turning 180 degrees to try and better the situation with no positive outlook, I became convinced that I was going to die any second, either from running into a tower or the side of a mountain.
While being in this state for what felt like eternity, I suddenly experienced a funny feeling. At the moment of realizing I was going to die and very soon, I felt very relaxed all of a sudden and content with the fact that this is what it was! The fear had left and I felt I was going to be all right, but still with the state of thinking I was going to die. I didn’t know what to do. With the amount of flying experience I had, I believed my situation was grim. I’m not even sure that I prayed or even asked God for help, but I must have, either in my mind or my heart, because at the very moment of accepting my demise, the cloud cleared a little, and low and behold! Like peering through a fog, with very opaque visibility, there in front of my aircraft, were two rows of what looked like florescent pylon cones, and in between them, as my eyes grew as big as baseballs, was a grass runway! Not off to my left or off to my right…but directly off the nose of the aircraft! I couldn’t believe it, an airstrip, in fact, Bruce Mcfail Memorial Airstrip just outside of Cobden, Ontario. I didn’t know that until later because I also became a little lost when I did the 180 degree turn. It was as if someone moved the aircraft to that position, but it was hard not to rule out coincidence, at that time in my life.
Now here’s the amazing part. After I landed and parked the aircraft, I was walking toward a white house just at the corner of the airfield. It was raining a lot and very overcast, the cloud was real low, the ceiling was about 100-150 ft. I could see a fellow mowing his lawn on a tractor mower and I thought it to be kind of odd to be doing this in the rain, but I approached him. He said he could hear me and wondered if I was in trouble and if I was going to land, I laughingly told him, oh yes, must land! He smiled at me and offered the use of his phone and brought me into his house.
Once inside, I noticed the most astounding thing, it was very quiet, no television, and there on the sofa was his wife with a young infant about the same age as my daughter, sleeping in her lap, I immediately thought of my Alex and how much I miss her and that moments earlier I thought I would never see her again. I called Ottawa flight service and cancelled my flight plan, only to learn that the weather was much better there with a 3000′ ft ceiling, only 60 km away. Then I contacted Alex’s mother to pick me up in Cobden.
The gentleman then offered to drive me to a restaurant to meet Alex’s mother, and upon opening the passenger door of his car, there on the seat, staring straight at me, as if it were saying the words itself, was the Holy Bible, the infallible, everlasting Word of God, and realizing that these people were Christian I couldn’t help thinking that this was no coincidence and that someone was watching over me. I wrestled with that thought for quite some time afterward, in fact, years.
I now know that this incident was the greatest of all tugs that I’ll ever recall. But it would be another 8 years later and a few more very interesting tugs before I truly listened to Him.
After all the years of having alcohol, drugs, a promiscuous path, and pretty much some of the worst long term relationships that just ended up in broken heart after broken heart, as a part of my life at one point or another, and doing most of the things that people who do not know our Lord, call normal, my Heavenly Father finally came for me.
I say that He came for me, because of the way he drew me to Him. I might also say that I directed myself, for myself, but it is hard for me to believe that, since He is in control of all things and sovereign over absolutely everything.
I came to meet the Lord through a woman that I desired to be with and settle down as her spouse. I had always had a deep admiration for this woman and had a great amount of respect for her all my years since I was about 13 years old, but was ever too shy to confront her. Since we both came from the same small town, and also, she was a good friend of my sisters and worked in my parents store for some time, we did know of each other and, I knew of her Christian faith but she never knew the admiration and feelings that I had for her.
Now the odd thing about this is that after about twenty years of not seeing her, or rarely thinking about her during my life, I had come to meet her brother, whom I also knew, and learned that she was now single. After trying to reach her a few times, I unbelievably, finally asked her to dinner. Now the most profound thing is that normally I would never call someone out of the blue after not seeing them for twenty years, especially knowing her Christian faith, something I was not of, but being a lost soul, and also the fact that she said yes and agreed to meet me for dinner, knowing that I was not a true Christian as herself. I felt compelled to be with her. She invited me to her church several times at the start of what I thought was a wonderful friendship.
The first time I went with her, the worship was overwhelming for me. I had a sense of anxiety in my stomach which wouldn’t leave throughout the whole service. First it was, the worship then the feeling was evident during the pastor’s message, I wasn’t sure why I was having this feeling but it was all making sense for some reason, like all the unanswered questions in my life were beginning to have answers, yes, it was making sense. I attended a second time with her, mostly to see if the same feeling was present, and it was, even more so this time as I tried to hold back my tears, maybe my humility was becoming apparent to me I=m not sure. I explained to her my feelings, those overwhelming feelings, and she assured me that it was the Holy Spirit descending into my heart. My third visit brought me straight to my knees. I realized my humility in relation to who Jesus Christ was and I gave my heart to Our Lord that Sunday in December 2003.
She told me and showed me many things about the Lord and Christianity that I never knew and directed me toward the Word very well. I struggled with the thought that I was doing it just to be with her, but my repentance became instant, not complete repentance, but repentance for the outer physical things in my life . Within a day I began to stop my profane language, and using His name in vain, which was a regular habit that was with my old lifestyle, I had stopped drinking, fighting and going to clubs, and gave up most of my friends, whom I still love but can never hang around, and can only pray that one day they too will see the truth the way we Christians see it. I had a tremendous amount of conviction for the things that I knew He despises and I began diligently seeking our Lord with much zeal and learning in amazement the way we are supposed to be and who I really am. I began to understand the Bible very easily, when before I was saved, I couldn’t make much sense of it. I either didn’t believe that we had to be in such ways as our Lord commands or I couldn’t understand the literal meaning of most of it, but now all of a sudden it was very clear to me.
Till this day, I think about our Lord all day, every day and in everything I do. When I am at work, when I am at leisure, even when I am just walking along wherever I am.
I long to know Him more and my sanctification continues more and more as time passes. I love to talk about Him with anyone, and when I do meet someone who listens, I could talk for hours of Him, to them.
The only sad part of my testimony at that time is that we never remained together, and sometimes feel lonely without her, something I never figured on happening, but I love her dearly, I always have and always will. She is my sister in Jesus Christ which makes me even more happy. We are good friends to this day.
I also believe that to love her is a gift from God that He put into my heart those many years ago, and that, that love, comes from the love of God inside me, which is not so sad but very joyful because He reassures me how capable I am of loving someone without condition. Even though we were never united, the Lord my God remains fully in my heart, which is the biggest testimony of my faith, and that my desire is now for Him. I will never leave Him because I now know the truth. Even if I were to try I wouldn’t be able to, He would only grab me and put me back where I belong, with Him, as is with all of us who know Him and Love Him.
He came to me in the most mysterious way, using my desires and a love for someone that He put into my heart when I was 13 years old, knowing well that at 40 years old, I would seek her and be compelled toward her for the very purpose of finding Him and to lead me to Him. I have finally found Him. Although I was broken, His love, grace and mercy has healed all of me. He is so amazing!
Today I am presently studying my Bachelor of Theology and working toward becoming a Pastor and Missionary, and because of the tremendous understanding and knowledge that He has given me over such a short period of time I am sure His plan for me would be in such fields as these, for His Glory
There are many of us that recall an amazing testimony of faith in which our heavenly Father drew us to Him for His special purpose, so mysterious are His ways.
Thank-You my Lord.